im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
