Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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