Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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