are you still at the devil's house?
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Sponge bath it is.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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