sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
