Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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