i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
