I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Randomize
