i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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