It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
