Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
