I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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