she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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