do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
