You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
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she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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