yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize