So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
