I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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