K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
