They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize