butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is wine microwaveable?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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