everyone is single if you try hard enough
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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