She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
