went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
