dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize