I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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