Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
