yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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