mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
