okay pat passed out under dana's car
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
