If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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