is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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