I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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