sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
