ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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