So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
