guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
