There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
