physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
