Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
