woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
