Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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