Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
