hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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