So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
