O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
