Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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