last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
