I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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