sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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