i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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