Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
