i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
