Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
