so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
