hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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