There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
