It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
