I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize