Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My dick has a subreddit
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
