He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nicole vs. Life
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
As shirtless as possible
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
