that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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