Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
